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People talk about invitations to crypto conferences with quiet reverence in the same way celebrities talk about invitations to the Met Gala.
difference? As I already mentioned here, crypto conferences are trending much worse.
Oh, and it’s also a work meeting. There is nothing funny about the name either. work. meeting. conference about work. Yippie.
With the ever-increasing creativity of cryptocurrency marketing campaigns, the process leading up to these events can be quite genius at instilling a sense of “if you’re not there, you’re dead.” A native app that adds a social media aspect to connect participants, NFT giveaways just for joining, Whole parody Twitter account Dedicated to spreading conference-specific memes, not being there could feel as bad as not being invited to a cool girl’s sleepover birthday party.
And this strange fascination with cryptocurrency conferences manages to persist through both bull and bear cycles.
Back when Bitcoin was weird, the cryptocurrency event itself was a news story. If you work for a news organization, your pitch might simply be, “Let me attend this conference.”
The Cut had a coverage of the Hellish New York crypto buddy party in 2018. Breker Mag (Rest in Peace) had his 2018 feature on one of my favorites of him, an even more hellish extended cryptocurrency conference party on a real cruise ship.
Stories of this kind contributed to the myth of the Crypto Conference, a magical, free-flowing place filled with easy-to-write characters like Brock Pierce and John McAfee, or get-rich-quick buddies and their Lambo. When Bitcoin was still a niche, crypto conferences were a relevant place. It was necessary to see vast wealth flying around by people who fit nowhere else.
But now Bitcoin is more mainstream, and conferences are following suit. Last Year’s Bitcoin Miami Mechanical Bull Felt Forced (And Not Forced) Genuine!), there were no funny announcements such as the President of El Salvador accepting Bitcoin as the national currency to go along with it.
But it doesn’t matter. The season of cryptocurrency conferences has arrived again this year. The desire to attend these events has not diminished in the slightest. Even though Bitcoin is nowhere near $70,000, despite cryptocurrency companies being sued for securities fraud, even though the chances of other dictatorships accepting Bitcoin as their national currency are essentially zero.
I bet your entire Twitter feed is filled with pictures of people’s feet resting uncomfortably on the backs of airplane chairs and the caption “Crypto Twitter, President of the X Conference!” Or tweet something like, “Conference attendees are making me mute his feed from FOMO #cryingemoji.”
And as the days go by, you may find more and more blurry photos of the panelists taken in the dark amphitheater.From time to time someone posts a photo empty room The comments are ridiculed.other people anger about exclusivity, or price After all, hundreds of attendees paid full price and sat in a room all day listening to three to five men and a woman, who are usually moderators, talking about cryptocurrencies. In some cases, high-paying celebrities zoom in and give virtual talks. Does such a victim not deserve a free cocktail at a rooftop bar?
The conference itself is just as important to the self-awareness of the cryptocurrency world as it is to blockchain technology, NFTs, altcoins and DEXs. As a society, we basically go to school for a few days and then shuttle buses to a series of party jails (sorry, after-party) making it an integral part of life.
Read more Off-Topic: Cryptocurrency’s Next Top Model Does Not Exist
And at the end of the day, if you can believe a word people yell over social media and conference afterparties to loud music, it looks like we’re actually having a good time.
Is this all a giant lure in the weirdest ad ever to convince you to buy a ticket to Permissionless II? No (but click here).
Does my labeling cryptocurrency conferences as prisons of parties really mean I don’t want to go to events anymore? Also no.
Because going into crypto without worrying so much about technology and finance (read the tagline for this column at the bottom of the page if it shocks you) means I get all the perks I get. And what if that meant flying to Lisbon/Paris/Austin for a few days of air-conditioned lectures, free socks, and the opportunity to meet many of your internet friends in person?
I am guilty of being drawn to the lure of cryptocurrency conferences, and even guilty of feeling that the role of “moderator” confers some kind of trivial “status,” even though I am familiar with it. I will continue to bask in the opportunity to ‘not work’ while at work, securing a media pass and roaming the conference hall looking for free socks.
I’m a huge hypocrite by nature.
So please don’t read this article and start revoking my media pass. You’re going to sentence me to life without new socks.
I’m not very interested in technology, and I’m not really into finance. I’m interested in writing stories and watching strange events unfold. That’s why I ended up in cryptocurrency.
But lacking passion for the essence of cryptocurrencies and blockchains: finance, technology, privacy, yadda yadda, I’ll instead write about what I’m actually interested in. Everything cryptocurrency has very little to do with cryptocurrency.
That’s what this column is about. All the irrelevant stories coming out of the blockchain and crypto space, what I think about them, and how I, a skeptical ex-Russian Literature major, am getting over this issue.
My perch as an outsider allows me to do what I have to do. We speak out on all sides of any cryptocurrency issue, add no restrictions to the game, and have no physical contact.
If you want to talk to me about cryptocurrencies, get off topic.
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